i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize