margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
