don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she told me i tasted like america
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
