Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
