I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you win again, gameday.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
