My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
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someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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