took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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