goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
