I'm drive I can fine osifer
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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