If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There's always time for handjobs
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
