Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
