My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
