This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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