So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
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Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
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Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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