im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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