I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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