We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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