I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
