dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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