this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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