i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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