Don't you send me to vm
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we made out on top of his cat.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
