you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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