So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
