So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize