Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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