the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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