Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
