Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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