I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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