You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize