Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
