Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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