just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize