Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.

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(954): View more from Florida

i just sent this text using only my big toe

Fav 22 6293 1206
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(785): View more from Kansas

whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick

Fav 64 8074 2212
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(260): View more from Indiana

How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?

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(863): View more from Florida

There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.

Fav 8 1029 2397
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(541): View more from Oregon

What should I say back?

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Well, how do you want the conversation to go?

(541): View more from Oregon

Straight into my pants.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Shame is for Republicans.

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