She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
