Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
home. puking in laundry basket.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
