So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
