Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
