I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
