Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my hands just texted you
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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