I'm passing your future prison.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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