We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So much rum. So many feels.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
