Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
