but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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