Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.