I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!