I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
