Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
