Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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