Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
