Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
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You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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