did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
