I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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