New low: just hacked my moms facebook
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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