The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
