i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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