I didn't shave. On purpose
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
