i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
