you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
