dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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