i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Let's paint friendship bongs
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
