It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
